Monday, November 25, 2013

Keeping Expectations Realistic with Online Dating

In five years, all those criteria you carefully crafted for your online profile won’t matter.  You’ll forget you thought it was essential that your future partner was a devout reader of Kafka and had an affinity for small, fluffy dogs.  All those prayers you shot up to heaven about making the ideal decision won’t matter, because you’ll have other problems and other passions.  So why does that perfect decision carry so much weight right today?
Secular culture has an enormous effect on Christian culture.  The ways we interact with people and react to things in the news show that we only absorb bits and pieces of the Bible, calling ourselves Christians according to the verses that we like the most.  Who can argue with loving the persecuted and taking care of orphans?  But these practices have also made us forget which decisions are left to us. 

“You simply will never find a human being who is pre-packaged to fit your every personality quirk, cultural preference or lifestyle particularity,” writes seminary student Jared LaFitte.  No one will ever be good enough if you don’t put the work in, and that includes the person you believe God says is The One.   This isn’t to say that Christians shouldn’t pray about the people they date.  In fact, they should still maintain a healthy prayer life–the Bible is pretty blatant about seeking guidance.  But at the end of the day, God expects wisdom acted out by his followers. 

Most of us already know if the person we’re with is right for us or not, and choosing the right person to live life with shouldn’t mean that we keep praying to get God to agree with us.  “Any marriage is built and shaped by two different, sinful people adjusting to one another” (LaFitte 2013).  Marriage, contrary to popular belief, isn’t about falling in love and living happily ever after; it takes more work!  Pairing up for life is all about showing just how powerful God is while learning to serve another person with nothing held back.

Looking at Christian Mingle reviews will show you that many people are constantly searching for Mr. or Ms. Right. However, while sifting your search criteria for someone who shares your values is important, you must be careful that it doesn’t lead to unrealistically high expectations.  “Happiness doesn’t come from a spouse fitting your every selfish expectation; it comes from you and your spouse working and adjusting to serve each other while rooted in Christ’s love” (LaFitte 2013).  Moreover, one of the best ways God refines your character is through marriage where you must continually learn about both your strengths and weaknesses and how to live in harmony with another human being. Your spouse becomes a mirror to help you see areas where you could grow and improve to better honor them and God. When done in a spirit of love rather than contempt, tremendous growth and change can occur that will bless your connection and intimacy.

LaFitte, J. There is No Such Thing as ‘The One’. Retrieved on September 25, 2013 from

By ChristianCrush team. aims to be the most authentic, innovative, and trustworthy site on the web for believers to connect. They were invited to post on our blog to share their expertise on trends in the dating world. To get in touch with ChristianCrush, please find them on at Google Plus1

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