Wednesday, July 17, 2013

3 Tips to Making Decisions Together

The toughest part about marriage is the fact that there are two imperfect people involved. If you had to boil down the reason for most of our marital problems it is the fact that there are two people (who are probably opposites in a lot of areas) trying to do life together. One aspect of the tough points of marriage is decision making. Whether you are trying to choose the music in the car or trying to figure out where to move to making decisions together is a vital part of marriage and the better we are at making decisions together the quicker we can squash the arguments to come. Here are several tips to help us make decisions together.

1. Decide who will make certain decisions
One of the greatest things that I enjoy about my husband is that he has made it clear that I am free to make a lot of decisions that he does not consider big. He does not mind that I choose what cologne he should wear, or the dinner that we eat, or even the color of his clothes. His reasoning for this is because he wants to lead our relationship in such a way that I don’t feel domineered by his leadership. Talking in advance about what decision power each holds in many areas in life will help tremendously when the need for decision-making arises.

2. Yield 
This is one of the hardest parts about marriage because yielding to the desires of your spouse calls you to lay down your preference for their own preference and it doesn’t feel fair in the moment. There are many times where I have to just stop demanding my own decision and let my husband make the final call because we just can’t agree. The same is true with him as well.

3. Doubt yourself
This tip fly’s in the face of prevalent cultural thought. In the United States we live in a day and age where everyone should believe in ourselves but there are a multitude of times where we are simply wrong about whatever decision we are trying to make. One of the best things you can do for both yourself and your spouse is to simply doubt yourself. Make sure that whatever decision you are trying to make is sound and understand that you might be in error. This is a position of humility and lets your spouse know that you do not think you know it all. With this position of humility you will find that making decisions tends to become a little easier.

It is no secret that everyone struggles in their marriage, which is why half of all marriages end in divorce. Just recently my husband and I were arguing about something simple like choosing the right home security company for our home. We eventually went with my choice, Smith Monitoring, because they had functions and apps that allow me to control the security of my home from my mobile device even when I’m not home. Smith Monitoring is the best among all alarm monitoring companies and specializes in Jersey Village home security systems. The question you have to ask yourself now is how do you and your spouse make decisions together?

About The Author: Katie Melendez is a writer for Smith Monitoring. Katie is also a wife, youth mentor, and a health nut. Follow her blogs for all current trends on home, health, and family.

3 comments:

  1. This was a very interesting post, I couldn't agree more with almost all of it! I have been married for 20 years and it's a struggle. Bite your tongue and just let him win lol and he does the same too, Sometimes! lol

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  2. I agree with the doubting yourself thing. Doubting yourself allows you to discover other options which may turn out the best option after all.

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  3. Marriage is always a give and take. Well, at least it is for me and my hubby. I give the reign to him when it comes to finances and such we don't argue on those issues. Other stuff, I have my say like household matters, education, pets, etc. We also have our misunderstanding at times but it is easier for us to talk about it because we respect each other and accept each other's difference, even in our point of views.

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Mae Amori

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